By Eli Williams

Urban Light Ministries / Miami Valley Partnership for Fathers

Thank God for mothers. But kids need dads, too. Children with committed, involved fathers are less likely to be poor, do better in school, and are healthier. Consider these findings from a recently released Child Trends Research Brief:

The number of U.S. children living in poverty increased in 2007—continuing an upward trend dating back to 2000: In 2007, 13.3 million children were living in poverty, up from 11.6 million children in 2000.  The percentage of children living in families with incomes below the poverty line has increased from 16.2 percent in 2000 to 18.0 percent in 2007. Thus, a large number of children—nearly one in five—are poor.  Child poverty merits attention because a substantial body of research links poverty with lower levels of child well-being. For a variety of reasons, when compared with children from more affluent families, poor children are more likely to have low academic achievement, to drop out of school, and to have health, behavioral,

and emotional problems. These linkages are particularly strong for children whose families experience deep poverty, who are poor during early childhood, and who are trapped in poverty for a long time. - CHILDREN IN POVERTY: TRENDS, CONSEQUENCES, AND POLICY OPTIONS – April 2009

By Kristin Anderson Moore, Ph.D., Zakia Redd, M.P.P.,1 Mary Burkhauser, M.A., Kassim Mbwana, M.P.P, and Ashleigh Collins, M.A.

Further, the report (which is an analysis of U.S. Census data) reveals “In 2007, children living in households headed by single mothers were more than five times as likely as children living in households headed by married parents to be living in poverty—42.9 percent compared with 8.5 percent.”

The bottom line for fathers is this: If you want your children to thrive, be there for them and provide financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Even if you can’t be there physically, you are important to the well-being of your kids.

By Reverend Eli Williams

Miami Valley Partnership for Fathers / Urban Light Ministries

Nadya Denise Suleman, known as Octo-Mom in the media, is closer to realizing her dream of having all fourteen of her children at home. The California woman had each of the children via invitro fertilization with help from a male friend. Suleman is unemployed and on food stamps. The now famous single mother of octuplets and six older children still refuses to identify the father of all fourteen children. I won’t use this column to further vilify Nadya, but rather to heighten awareness of the importance of the father’s supportive involvement in the raising of children. I have yet to see a news article or commentary asking “Who’s Octo-Dad?” Don’t fathers matter in today’s culture?

According to Kyle D. Pruett, M.D. in a 1997 article titled How Men and Children Affect Each Others Development, “Children who’s fathers are not in their daily lives start looking for their father as soon it becomes clear to them that kids have moms and dads.” This father hunger can be insatiable. Moms can’t be dads. Children need both. Seven in ten adults believe a child needs a home with both a mother and a father to grow up happy. The bottom line? Daddies matter. Yet, sixty-three percent of black children, thirty-five percent of Hispanic children and twenty-eight percent of white children are living in homes absent their biological father. Annually, billions of dollars in government and charitable dollars are being spent dealing with the consequences of this father absence crisis. Frankly, it isn’t working. 

This is a call to men (fathers, step fathers, father-figures, etc), to step up in greater numbers to our responsibility to be involved and supportive when it comes to the rearing of children. It is also a call to society, media included, to acknowledge the important, God-given role of fathers.

TOP TEN FATHER FACTS

Fact #2                     

Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.

This is a season of setback. Because of the economic recession, many are suffering reverses. Job losses, bankruptcy, foreclosures, devalued investments, home equity shrinkage and on and on it goes.

Have you had a setback? You are not alone. But, there is good news. Your setback need not be your downfall. In fact, your setback may be a setup for your comeback.

A setback is a temporary hindrance. They are a part of living. From the beginning of life, babies stumble and fall as they learn to walk. But, they do eventually walk. So, falling down is not failure. Failure is falling down and not getting back up and trying again. You know the saying “If at first you don’t succeed …”

Embrace your setback. It is a pivotal moment. Ask yourself: Is it time for a career change? Should I go back to school? Are there opportunities in this crisis? There always are. The Great Depression was a time of unprecedented inventiveness. The washing machine, electric dry razor, car radio, the supermarket, the Laundromat, tampons, chocolate chip cookies, Monopoly and xerography were all invented during that era. This current economic downturn could be a setup for your greatest achievement. So, don’t sit around whining about your situation. Instead, use that energy to look for your next opportunity. Hold on to your faith as you trust God to bring you through.

And keep serving others. Regarding that, the Bible has great counsel for Christians in Galatians 6:9. Paul said: “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” It’s the law of sowing and reaping and it never fails. As you persevere in doing good things for others in the midst of your own time of neediness, you will reap a reward in “due season.”  So, don’t lose heart. It’s only a setback. The setup is on. Your comeback is assured.

Eli Williams